Sending your kid to camp can be hard — especially when they’re trans

Mommy, I’m scared,” my daughter said from the backseat of our SUV, surrounded by her backpack, a sleeping bag and some other odds and ends that never made it into her duffel bags. We were still about an hour away from camp and other than “why can’t I just stay home this summer?” these were the only words she’d muttered in the past 90 minutes.

“I know, *Gabby,” I said, empathizing. “It can be scary going to a new camp. But I’m sure that once you get settled in, you’ll make friends and have fun!”

“You don’t get it, Mom,” she said. “No one wants to be friends with the new kid.” And then a few seconds later: “Especially the new trans kid.”

I honestly didn’t think being transgender would prevent her from making friends. Hell, I hoped it wouldn’t. Regardless, I knew she was feeling anxious. And even though I loved my camp experience (eight summers as a camper, four as a counselor, and I still sing color war cheers and alma maters in the shower), I could only imagine the anxiety she was feeling.

Privacy at sleepaway camp is minimal, often nonexistent. Picture an old-school Loehmann’s dressing room — add some beds, cubbies and a multi-stall bathroom/shower area, and you’re looking at a traditional bunk. Yes, things had gotten a little awkward one summer at my old sleepaway camp when my boobs started growing before some of my bunkmates, and when my friend sprouted pubic hair when the rest of us hadn’t, but for the most part, all of us girls were in the same boat. Breasts and bushes aside, we all looked similar and had few qualms about dressing or undressing in a crowd.

But how would my penis-bearing daughter feel changing in a room full of vaginas, I often wondered when the topic of camp arose. And how would the vagina-bearing girls — and let’s be honest, their parents — feel about their kids changing, let alone living in the same bunk as a girl with a penis?

When we first began researching camps, my husband and I weren’t even sure sleepaway camp would be possible for our daughter. Especially after Gabby told us vehemently, “I’m not going to trans camp,” which was a decision we respected. While there are a handful of incredible camps for gender-nonconforming and transgender kids, our daughter wanted a traditional sleepaway experience where she could simply be “one of the girls.”

“Why can’t I go to cousin Amanda’s camp?” Gabby asked for about the fifteenth time a week before camp was slated to begin. We were sitting outside, just the two of us, eating dinner at a neighborhood café.

“Honestly,” I replied, setting down my glass of cabernet, “for a few reasons. One, Amanda’s camp is a little over the top for my and Daddy’s taste. Let’s just say it’s a bit fancier than I’d expect a camp to be. And most of the girls seem to be wearing the same outfits” — expensive outfits, I thought but didn’t say — “in all the pictures I’ve seen. It seems a bit much to me.

“And besides,” I started to say, but then stopped.

“Besides what?” Gabby asked.

I sighed.

“Just tell me, Mom!”

“I’m not sure they’d let you go to that camp,” I admitted softly.

“Let me go?”

“Yes,” I said, and paused again, trying to buy some time before having a conversation I’d been dreading since my son Gideon became my daughter, Gabriella. “Not all camps accept transgender campers.”

“Oh,” she said dejectedly. “Well, did you ask Amanda’s camp?”

“No, we didn’t. Because again, it’s not a camp we’d consider for you.”

“Did you ask other camps that said no? Is that why I’m going to this new camp?”

This post originally appeared in Today

The difficult road for Trans youth in Texas

Texas leaders have targeted trans youth, their families and gender-affirming care practices for months. It’s exacerbated feelings of anxiety and fear in trans youth, who already experience higher rates of depression, anxiety and suicide than their cis peers. Mental health practitioners can help navigate these feelings, but finding and accessing an affirming therapist in Texas can be a challenge.

For resources and support, call Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860, The Trevor Project at 866-488-7386 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Roswell Gray, 17, has seen a lot of different therapists’ offices. They’re always some variation of black and white and gray, the muted tones matching the monotony of having to explain everything over and over again to a new person, in the hopes they’ll be the right fit.

But Gray said walking into a new office, about an hour away from their home in Sherman, felt different.

“It was really simplistic, but there was a lot of beautiful art, a lot of different colors and stuff that made me smile,” Gray said. “She had a little mini fridge with snacks and drinks. And it was just like, super welcoming and inviting.”

But beyond the fully-stocked fridge and the décor, Gray’s therapist used their pronouns and asked about their gender identity. Their previous therapist “wasn’t great in many aspects,” and they had been looking for a provider who was trans-affirming and could talk about their Mormon faith.

“I was partially nervous because a lot of people of faith aren’t as accepting as I would like them to be,” said Gray. “It was really nice to hear her talk about how she’s dealt with other clients like me, who are also queer.”

Because of the drive to the office outside of Grayson County, gas prices and the pandemic, Gray hasn’t gone to therapy as often as they’d like. And it’s been hard to navigate the past few months, they said, as gender-affirming care has been caught up in a legal back-and-forth.

Lawmakers in Texas have increasingly tried to prevent access to gender-affirming mental health and medical care for trans youth since last year. Attorney General Ken Paxton and Gov. Greg Abbott have both targeted families providing medical care to their children. In addition, a bill the Texas legislature passed last year bans trans athletes from sports in school.

Repeated exposure to negative messages on trans identity in the media and from political leaders can lead to increased “depression, anxiety, PTSD and psychological distress” for trans people, as researchers found in a study in the journal of LGBT Health earlier this year. The Trevor Project, a national LGBTQ youth crisis services, advocacy and research organization, reported back in January that 85% of transgender and nonbinary youth surveyed said their mental health was negatively impacted by hearing state lawmakers debate trans rights.

“Navigating Texas, with all the changes in laws and policies, has been really hard,” said Gray. “Especially when I would go on to social media, and everything I would would see is like, the state is banning trans youth from playing sports. So I spend less time on social media just to distance myself from all of the negative things.”

Gray and other trans youth are far from the only people feeling afraid and confused about the future of care in Texas.

As Texas leaders target gender-affirming care, psychologists’ work is caught in a legal back-and-forth

Mental health providers like Beck Munsey in North Texas are worried what statements from state leaders could mean for their work. Munsey is a clinician and educator who sees LGBTQ+ youth and adults. Part of Paxton and Abbott’s directives were that the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services, plus mandated reporters like physicians, mental health counselors like Munsey, and teachers, investigate and report families to the state.

“It is scary, because there may come a time where Texas law says that I’m not allowed to provide affirming care,” Munsey said. “And so I’ll have to make a moral decision on what I do with that.”

But clinicians and families are pushing back. Several families of trans youth, along with the Texas branch of the national advocacy organization PFLAG, filed a lawsuit to stop the state’s investigations. Doctors at UT Southwestern and Children’s Medical Center Dallas, which quietly closed its trans youth program GENECIS last winter due to political pressure and fear of lawsuits, are also currently in litigation to provide services to new patients.

This post first appeared in Keranews

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